Parenting di Negara Gagal by Kalis Mardiasih

Parenting in a Failed Nation

This book is not really about parenting techniques. It is about how difficult it is to raise children in a country whose society and institutions often fail to demonstrate the values we want children to learn.

Kalis Mardiasih talks about Indonesia's current political and social conditions through a number of recent and familiar examples: the MBG (Makan Bergizi Gratis) program, children of government officials involved in bullying, extreme inequality, corruption, patriarchy, and other forms of systemic failure.

But the interesting part isn't simply the criticism of the government or the people. It is the question underneath all of it:

How do we raise decent, empathetic, and honest human beings when the world around them constantly demonstrates the opposite?

How do we teach them not to abuse power when they see powerful people getting away with things? How do we teach them empathy when inequality is everywhere? How do we teach them to question patriarchy when patriarchal values are deeply embedded in society?

And perhaps most importantly, how do we make sure that we are not unconsciously passing those same problems on to our children?

As someone who is childfree, I initially wasn't sure whether this book would have much to offer me. After all, I'm currently not planning to raise a child, so a book about parenting doesn't seem particularly relevant.

But by the end, I think the book is broader than its title suggests. It is ultimately about the kind of society we create and the kind of people we expect to grow up in it.

So while I wouldn't necessarily call this a parenting manual, I can see it being a valuable addition to the bookshelf of parents who already read conventional parenting books.

And even as a childfree reader, I found myself thinking about the questions this book raises long after I finished it.